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Where we failed in DV

The story about uber-manly Mel Gibson is, sadly, one of several in a series of revelations about his erratic behavior.

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/02/28/da-verge-charging-mel-gibson/

The greater point, however, is the fact that after all the decades of trying to address the problem, we still find it socially tolerated, if not accepted, that masculinity has an innate relationship with violence and abuse. We are not talking about violence on behalf of the vulnerable or to save a life or to defend one’s home.  Domestic violence is just about as unmanly and unmasculine as it can be: what kind of a man hits someone less powerful or helpless? Well it is the kind of a man who ain’t a man really. It starts with stuffed animals, progresses to smaller garden animals, then to pets, and finally to women and children.  The other day I saw a story about Arizona’s infamous Senator Pearce having some choice DV background in his history which didn’t particularly surprise me. The sad fact is that some men deal with stress by hurting others while others go the route of Casablanca’s perpetually drunk but honorable Rick (Humphrey Bogart). 

The mix can be seen from miles away, though the victims often don’t see it till it is too late to do any due diligence: good looks, little or token formal education, bravado, uniform or overalls, barely concealed trash talk. After forty years of trying, one has to wonder if it is a collective failure on our part as a society to have been unable to impart such knowledge to so many potential victims.

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